148… what?

One of the women who works in my RE’s practice is a certified nurse midwife and a masters in nursing so she’s not a doctor but she’s got more credentials than the nursing staff.  She performs monitoring ultrasounds and IUI’s and the like but nothing surgical.  She also seems the be the designated caller for bad news.  She’s the one who called on Wednesday and said “this is bad news, your level is down to 66, we’d like to check again on Friday just to be sure but you can stop the progesterone if you want because we are not optimistic about the numbers rising” (side note: I did not stop the progesterone suppositories).  She consults the doctor prior to making these calls so I am sure she just communicated what they discussed and what they are used to seeing.  How can they really communicate anything else?  Today I went into my clinic for my blood draw (in the midst of Snopocalypse 2.0 here in Oregon) and my RE was standing near the lab and he said “this is a real pisser, isn’t it?  we want to monitor your levels and just watch what is happening”  I said “I think we know what is happening” and he nods and says something about how I should set up an appointment with him for the week of the 17th and that this might be an indicator of egg quality but that we will know more as we see this cycle out.  I have my blood drawn and come back to work where I feel shitty and wished I could have just gone home and went back to bed for a few months.  Hours pass slowly, as they always do when waiting for phone calls, and finally the call came.  I was expecting a number lower than 66 and then I could continue to figure out what alcoholic beverages I would use to drown my sorrows over the weekend.  The call came in from the nurse who said my hcg had risen to 148 and then she says “we’re very happy with the rise”.  Seriously?  My mind was completely blown.  I asked about 10 million questions that she didn’t have the answer to but bottom line we are back in the pregnancy ball game… for now. She said I could test again in 48 hours or just schedule an OB ultrasound for 3 weeks.  Umm, yeah, I’ll test again in 48 hours.  I have no expectation for what the levels will do.  Does anyone have any experience with their levels dropping and then rising and continuing to rise?  The nurse wanted me to also be very aware of the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy.  She said sometimes that can cause the fluctuations.  Bottom line: we will know more on Sunday.  Mathematically the doubling rates don’t make sense if the Wednesday number was an anomaly… (Sat 36, Mon 86, Wed 66, Fri 148) but I’ll take it.  This is seriously the craziest, most emotionally draining thing I’ve ever dealt with. Thank you to everyone for your kind and supportive words.  Keep your seatbelts on, this ride isn’t over yet!  I am just taking it minute by minute and trying to rebuild my spirit from 2 days of despair and maintain a positive mental attitude.  I know this is completely out of my hands so I will keep hoping. 

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11 thoughts on “148… what?

  1. Good luck! Try to keep your spirits up! BTW, I’m also an Oregonian, stuck at home in the Snowpocalypse Snowmageddon. We live out in the country on a big hill and I don’t think we’re going anywhere!

  2. A ray of hope! KMFX that the good news continues. I got my first son from I assume the same RE as you. I love him. (We had many failures trying for #2 and switched to ORM in Portland.) But Dr. A still holds a huge place in my heart. He is sooo nice. Stay safe in the snow! (I’m in Albany.)

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