Hello 2014. Nice to see you.

2013 came and went and to tell you the truth it was pretty much all a big fog.  A total blur of tears and sunless days.  The fog has been clearing over the last couple of weeks but last the couple of weeks of 2012 were awful so while 2013 was better I feel like I had some PTSD over what was going on in 2012 and found myself reflecting on that rather than enjoying the end of 2013.  Whatever.  2014 is here and it’s a clean slate.  It’s day 2 and it hasn’t pissed me off yet so we are off to a good start.  Resolutions, you ask?  Yeah, I don’t have any.  Be nice to people is always a good one and perhaps I will adopt it again this year but it wasn’t super effective last year so meh.  Anyway, I am looking forward to 2014… the year of ‘B’.  Baby or Belgium.  If our IVF cycle is unsuccessful we will be going to Belgium with some friends in June.  If it is successful we won’t be going and we will hopefully end up with a baby.  Time will tell.

On that note:  Today is the last day of the birth control pills.  Baseline u/s on Saturday and stimming starts Sunday if all is good up in the U.  I plan to spend Saturday and Sunday doing some bulk freezer cooking like a regular Pioneer Woman.  This activity is 3 fold… if the cycle is successful, I might not feel like cooking.  If the cycle is not successful, I might not feel like cooking.  Tax season is starting, I might not feel like cooking.  Oh and there’s a 4th, I rarely ever feel like cooking.  This is an attempt to make it so easy to throw a healthy meal in the crock or in the fridge to throw in the oven that we can’t not do it.  Hmm, we will see.  I’ve got it all planned out… Maybe I’ll blog about it.  Eh, probably not, it’s really not going to be that interesting.

In an attempt to prepare for the upcoming cycle, I bought the Circle + Bloom meditation for IUI/IVF mp3.  I am trying to reserve my natural judgy judgments and just listen to it and try it.  Meditation has never been my thing but I never had someone guiding me.  I started it last night and I am pretty sure I fell asleep… fail.  The voice says loud and clear “try to stay awake!”  oops.  I was tired.  Oh well, I have 18 more sessions to stay awake for.  In addition to the meditation I will continue my counseling and acupuncture.  It’s like a self-care trifecta. With that, I am as ready as I can be to start injecting myself (I won’t actually be doing the injecting, my husband will) with artificial hormones and have frequent experiences with the dildocam!  Let’s do this.


11 thoughts on “Hello 2014. Nice to see you.

  1. I can tell you are a planner. 🙂 It’s good to have a plan, especially when it comes to cooking a meal. And especially if you have extra freezer space. Hoping for very good things for you for this cycle. I listened to Circle and Bloom the regular version for quite a few months right before bed time. I fell asleep almost every single time. I even wrote the people of the program. They said that it’s okay to fall asleep coz your subconscious is still listening. But try to listen to the part that I missed at another time. How does one find time to do that? I even tried to listen to it earlier during the day and I would still fall asleep. 🙂

  2. Sending you strength and hope for this cycle. Please let this be it!! I love how you have a plan B – Belgium, though I hope you don’t get to go. I should be going in for my FET right around the same time you’ll be doing your retrieval and transfer. How wonderful would be if we both became pregnant with our rainbow babies at the same time! ❤

  3. I fell asleep for a lot of mine, too! Don’t worry. You’re still getting the benefit. 🙂 Sounds like you have a great plan in place to take care of yourself!

  4. I’m just a couple weeks behind you. Currently on doxycycline with the hubby. I too, was thinking about stocking up my freezer this weekend. Let me know if you find any great freezer/meal prep ideas! Good luck and hang in there. (I’ve also been meaning to buy the Circle + Bloom too. Maybe this weekend).

  5. Yay for stimming! Was thinking about doing the circle + bloom as well, but not sure they likely have enough f bombs in them for the type of motivation my ovaries need to hear…

    • I swear I fall asleep within 3 minutes of starting each program. I woke up last night to the phrase “imagine water gushing through your uterus cleansing it and preparing it for what’s to come.” Wtf. I don’t know if I’m really cut out for that shit and then I had to pee and had a dream about a waterfall…

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